Natasha McBride, CTACC

I'm Natasha.

In 2020, I was involved in a fatal car accident.

In this accident four innocent people died.

I was charged with four counts of first-degree murder, four counts of reckless homicide, four counts of leaving the scene of an accident, and four counts of driving on revoked driver's license.

I faced natural life.

I was living a real-life nightmare (as I know the family of the people who lost their loved ones was too.)

I had so much weight on my shoulders; the loss of the people who died in the other vehicle, and the loss of my freedom (possibly permanently).

I was unable to express my thoughts and feelings to the family, or to my own family/friends behind bars as anything I said or wrote could be used against me in court.

So, I had to cry in my jail cell, and vent in a journal, then rip it up and flush the pieces.

One month after my arrest, my loving, kind and sweet mother, Pamela, took her own life.

She had expressed guilt and worry.

She felt she had contributed to my mental health decline and didn't believe my cries for help the week prior to the accident. She thought I was being manipulative.

She also couldn't bear to see her only child spend life in prison for something I didn't purposely do.

Three days after her death, I was denied attendance to her funeral as my "mental capacity was in question" as quoted from the judge.

As if not allowing me to say "goodbye" was going to help my mental capacity. Yet, I was found fit for trial.

My bond was $5 million at 10%, which was unattainable for me and my family.

It was hard for me to grieve the loss of my mother as I didn't get to say "goodbye".

I was only able to see pictures of her in her casket while I was in the jail.

Social media news outlets and the State's attorney made it seem like the jail offered me mental health services. This is not true. I had to, (with the help of family), fight to get grief therapy. It took almost a year to get proper medications as well.

In 2023, after three years of detainment in the county jail...

Three years without hugging or touching my family...

Three years of eating garbage...

Three years of not seeing the moon, stars, trees, sunlight...

Three years of being told when to eat, sleep, and basically sh*t...

Three years of anxiety waiting on the outcome of my case...

all charges were dismissed.

All except for two counts of driving on revoked driver's license.

In 2021, and again in 2022, I was deemed legally insane at the time of the accident, by two different psychiatric experts.

One expert on the defense's side (my side), from Springfield, IL.

The other expert on the prosecution's side, from Chicago, IL.

This meant I was NOT legally responsible for all charges that required the State to prove my state of mind.

I could not decipher what was right and wrong, as I wasn't in my right mind. I was delusional, hallucinating, dissociating and in psychosis. I had no control over my mind or body the day of the accident.

After the State's expert agreed with my expert, the State tried to charge me with DUI Resulting in Death, (for THC-cannabis, not alcohol) because they knew they had zero evidence for what I was currently charged with.

In the state of Illinois, the alcohol legal limit is .08 blood alcohol content.

The state's legal limit for THC is 10 nanograms in urine.

I only, allegedly, had 1.2 nanograms of THC in my system. NOT EVEN CLOSE to the legal limit.

It was so low that the hospital's testing came up negative.

The two experts even noted in their reports that the trace of THC would not have caused my actions that day.

The DUI charge was ultimately dismissed by the judge, the state appealed it, and I won the appeal. The appellate judges agreed with my attorney.

Let me also clarify that I do not, and have never, used illegal, hard drugs.

I ultimately pled guilty to two counts of driving on revoked license.

That charge was not covered under the insanity defense.

The State did not have to prove my state of mind for driving on revoked.

They only had to show that I was driving, and that my driver’s license was revoked at the time of operating a motor vehicle.

Each count held a punishment of one to three years in prison (department of corrections, or DOC.)

I was sentenced to the maximum of three years on both counts, to run consecutively.

This meant I was to serve six years.

As a part of the plea, the sentencing was at 50%, which meant I only had to serve three years out of the six years.

Since I had already done three years awaiting trial, I was immediately released from prison (DOC) on the same day of arrival.

I checked-in in handcuffs and shackles in the morning, and I checked out, a free woman, on parole, in the afternoon.

I was on parole for 3 months.

I wasn't admitted to a psychiatric facility because I was no longer "insane". I was fit before trial, as I was in the psychiatric unit for 10 days getting mentally stable.

Therefore, if I had gone to the psychiatric facility I would've still been immediately released.

There would've also needed to be a trial in order for the department of human services (the agency that deals with mental health) to even admit me.

There was no need for a trial, because as stated above, I was NOT legally liable for the alleged crimes.

I still think about the accident daily.

I wish there was more I could have done to prevent this horrible accident from happening.

I honestly wish I could take the places of the people who died.

It hits hard on holidays as I feel sympathy and empathy for the family who lost four of their loved ones.

I can't imagine how hard those days are for them.

I apologized directly to the family at my court sentencing as this was the only time I was allowed to do so.

During the impact statements at my sentencing, one family member said, "I acted like I didn't care, and I always shook my leg as if I was annoyed."

I shake my leg when I'm nervous, anxious and/or upset. Just because I didn't cry at all 40 court dates does not mean I didn't care. I did, and still do care immensely.

In 2024, I decided it was time to share my experiences and my knowledge with others about mental health and the judicial system.

I came up with "prevent not punish" because a week before the accident I asked for help from a medical doctor, and a therapist on two separate days.

The doctor gave me sleeping meds and quoted me the "Serenity Prayer."

The therapist office was supposed to call me back but never did.

I also reached out to my mom about my suicidal thoughts, and she thought I was lying.

If any of those people would've helped by prescribing the right medications, called back, believed me, or had me committed, it could have prevented the events of that horrific day.

Preventing the accident would have caused there to be no want or need for a punishment, as there would be no alleged "crime" to be punished for.

Despite what some close-minded people may think, I am NOT a monster. I am a victim. Just not in the same way as the people who lost their lives that day.

I cried for help BEFORE the accident and my cries went unheard.

I now hope to bring awareness to mental health disorders, suicide prevention, and to work towards ending mass incarceration.

At the very least, work towards better prison reform.

"Criminals" are still people who have rights.

"We" deserve to be treated humanely regardless of the crime.

Over 90% of most jail populations consist of pre-trial detainees, which means they have not been convicted of the crime(s) they are accused of. They are innocent until proven guilty.

They deserve the same rights as someone not accused of a crime. They are only detained due to not being able to afford bond or not having a bond at all.

I’m a certified life coach, a registered medical assistant, and a certified pharmacy technician.

I also have an associate's degree in applied science.

I keep myself up to date on current events and policies regarding mental healthcare and the prison system.

I hope to fight the stigma against mental health, and to fight for the rights of those who are incarcerated.

Together, you and I, can make a difference, even if it's only in the life of one person.

Mental Health Matters!

Prisoner's Rights Matter!

You Matter!

Yours truly,

Natasha BYTS (Because You The Shit!)

Let's talk

Listening to your feedback and reading your comments makes me very happy. Contact me if you have any questions, comments, information, or to request a quote. I will get back to you shortly. Remember that you can follow me on my social networks or write to my email: info@preventnotpunish.com