Natasha McBride, CTACC

I'm Natasha.

In 2020, I was involved in a fatal car accident.

In this accident, four people died.

I was charged with four counts of first-degree murder, four counts of reckless homicide, four counts of leaving the scene of an accident, & four counts of driving on revoked driver's license.

I faced natural life.

I was living a real-life nightmare (as I know the family of the people who lost their family members was/is too.)

I had so much weight on my shoulders; the loss of the people who lost their lives in the other vehicle, and the loss of my freedom, possibly permanently.

I was unable to express my thoughts and feelings behind bars as anything I said could be used against me in court.

So, I had to cry in my jail cell, and vent in a journal, then rip it up and flush the pieces.

One month after my arrest, my loving mother, Pamela, took her own life.

She had expressed guilt.

She felt she had contributed to my mental health decline, and didn't believe my cries for help the week prior to the accident. She thought I was being manipulative.

Three days after her death, I was denied attendance to her funeral as my "mental capacity was in question" as quoted from the judge.

(As if not allowing me to say "goodbye" was going to help my mental capacity.)

My bond was $5 million at 10%, which was unattainable for me and my family.

It was hard for me to grieve the loss of my mother as I didn't get to say "goodbye".

I was only able to see pictures of her in her casket while I was in the jail.

In 2023, after three years of detainment in the county jail...

Three years without hugging or touching my family...

Three years of eating garbage...

Three years of being told when to eat, sleep, and basically sh*t...

Three years of anxiety waiting on the outcome of my case...

all charges were dismissed.

All except for two counts of driving on revoked driver's license.

In 2021, and then again in 2022, I was deemed legally insane at the time of the accident, by two different psychiatric experts.

One expert on the defense's side (my side), from Springfield, IL.

The other expert on the prosecution's side, from Chicago, IL.

This meant I was not legally responsible for all charges that required the State to prove my state of mind.

I ultimately plead guilty to two counts of driving on revoked.

That charge was not covered under the insanity defense.

The State did not have to prove my state of mind for driving on revoked.

They only had to show that I was driving, and that my driver’s license was revoked at the time of operating a motor vehicle.

Each count held a punishment of one to three years in prison (department of corrections, or DOC.)

I was sentenced to the maximum of three years on both counts, to run consecutively.

This meant I was to serve six years.

As a part of the plea, the sentencing was at 50%, which meant I only had to serve three years out of the six years.

Since I had already done three years awaiting trial, I was immediately released from prison (DOC) on the same day of arrival.

I checked-in in handcuffs and shackles in the morning.

And I checked out, a free woman, on parole, in the afternoon.

I was on parole for 3 months.

I still thought/think about the accident daily.

It hits hard on holidays as I feel sympathy and empathy for the family who lost four of their loved ones.

I can't imagine how hard those days are for them....

In 2024, I decided it was time to share my experiences and my knowledge with others about mental health and the judicial system.

I came up with "prevent not punish" because a week before the accident I asked for help from a medical doctor, and a therapist on two separate days.

The doctor gave me sleeping meds and quoted me the Serenity Prayer.

The therapist office was supposed to call me back but never did.

I also reached out to my mom about my suicidal thoughts, and she thought I was lying.

If any of those people would've helped by prescribing the right medications, called back, believed me, or had me committed, it could have prevented the events of that terribly tragic day.

Preventing the accident would have caused there to be no want or need for a punishment, as there would be no alleged "crime" to punish.

Despite what some close-minded people may think, I am NOT a monster. I am a victim. Just not in the same way as the people who lost their lives that day.

I hope to bring awareness to mental health disorders, suicide prevention, and to work towards ending mass incarceration.

At the very least, work towards better prison reform.

"Criminals" are still people and have rights.

They(we) deserve to be treated humanely regardless of the crime.

Over 90% of jails hold pre-trial detainees, which means they have not been convicted of the crime(s) they are accused of.

They deserve the same rights as someone not accused of the crime. They are only detained due to not being able to afford bond or not having one.

In my case, I could not afford bond.

I’m a certified life coach, a registered medical assistant, and a certified pharmacy technician.

I also have an associate's degree in applied science.

I keep myself up to date on current events and policies regarding mental healthcare and the prison system.

I hope to fight the stigma against mental health, and for the rights of those who are incarcerated.

Together, you and I, can make a difference.

Even if it's only in the life of one person.

Mental Health Matters!

Prisoner's Rights Matter!

Yours truly,
Natasha BYTS (Because You The Shit!)

Let's talk

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